Saturday, May 23, 2009

1000 miles, i am happy

I have arrived in Ft Lauderdale at my friend's Tattoo shop, its really nice.
I haven't seen him in at least 7 years, since I still lived in Longwood, I haven't seen Michael Williamson in like 5.

 I met Bobby thru Michael, I met Mike in 9th grade health class, he invited me to every birthday party he had after that. we set stuff on fire. we made films, he cast me as Judy, the tragically beautiful heroin heroine with Ross Purvis who later became an asshole out of nowhere. I accidentally made out with Ross shortly before the change, Mike made fun of me. And then we talked mad shit for years. I think Ross became a tattoo artist too. Flaming goat heads. But Mike, got married and moved to Asheville. then got divorced and...  something. somewhere. i lost him, i lost my phone with the last number he had. I have no idea where he is. Maybe Bobby can illuminate something. maybe he'll make fun of me for Ross Purvis too. maybe i just wont tell him. He's going to update my state tattoo to include Louisiana, Tennessee, North Carolina and Georgia to join Florida and Alabama... thats 6

6 our of 48 isn't bad.

I have just passed 1000 miles on the trip. I am happy. Smashing Pumpkins flying out the sun roof joining the smashed carcasses on 95. Close to Miami but not there yet. 

I played in Lake Worth tonight, for a total of 4 people. 
But when there's 4 people, that are listening, , is more powerful than 4 people listening in a crowd. Its super nervous too. Super awkward, hiding your naked self-consciousness behind a tea towel. I left well off with gas to drive home with. And peach tea, and frozen cappuccino and mac and cheese and ... hope in my heart, a close second to the peach tea... cause damn. 

I am happy. 
when i am traveling.
this alone thing has been really awesome. 
lots of thinking
and I feel, 
really in control. 
I thought i would be scared, but not so.
When shit goes down, 
(windshield wipers stop in torrential downpour,
 transmission wont shift into 2nd, 
hopelessly hopelessly lost in a far West urb of Orlando with a slightly mis-calibrated compass...  for example

 I can just handle it. 
Because i have to, there isn't anyone to take care of it for me, or bitch to. 
And then, at the next town (in Florida anyways)
there are open arms and long time friends and new friends and secret hiding places too.
and food you've never tried. 
and bright red trees made of flowers held together by humidity.

South florida has a much more colorful culture of Central Florida, the culture of which is the lack thereof. Anti culture, melting pot, no southern accents, no indigenous peoples, mac donalds gas station mac donalds, heat and roads to roads to large metropolises of money.

Southern hospitality still exists, its just too damn hot to care. 
We just sit under the mango tree drinking light beer and craving spicy food so that we might sweat to take the edge off. 
People are drawn to the ocean. 
to water in general. 
i think its chemical. We are made of mostly water, and water is charged (slightly negative on one side and slightly positive on the other)... thats why it sticks to itself and doesn't part when you swim through it... so it sticks to us. 
and it feels good.
the humidity is so thick here, its like swimming, so... it kinda feels good too.


  1. this is so lovely renee, I feel the same about travelling alone. glad you are doing well!

  2. I think isolation is a really important part of growth. On one side, it's nice to know you can make it, but more importantly you can evaluate your world-view in a subjective stream-of-consciousness devoid of the influence other people unknowingly radiate; to truly discover exactly who you and what you are.

    Although, I'm a little crazy. I just assume that every other mile is an epiphany for you, as well.